While at the aforementioned birthday shindig, I was speaking to another mother of a child the same age as Grace. She said she was dreading the 12 month appointment because “I know the dr. will say he should be on one nap by now and he’s still on two and I don’t know what to do” etc. etc. I felt so bad for her and I realized, we’ve all been there. The guilt and feelings of failure about what you SHOULD be doing and how you SHOULD be parenting and if your child isn’t feeding himself while signing his requests to you while at the same time expressing interest in toilet training than you’re just a loser mom who is raising an idiot.
That’s how it feels sometimes when you read too many books, you have too many people giving you (usually unsolicited) advice, and you put too much pressure on yourself to be the perfect parent. I’ve realized I’m not the perfect parent. If Grace makes it through the day unscathed I consider it a victory. She’s a year old now and still taking two naps, won’t take a sippy cup and still uses her pacifier. So I’m pretty much a loser mom by most books accounts. That’s why I don’t read them anymore unless there’s a specific topic I’m looking for answers to. Even then, I try to keep it brief.
When I am looking for “real world” info, I check out Ask Moxie, a great blog for real-life parenting. If you’re hyper-scheduled and anal retentive, this won’t be for you. Moxie goes with the flow. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of schedules (lest you think I’m a fly by the seat of your pants kind of mom) and Grace is on a tight one. Except when she isn’t….Like now when she’s teething. Screw the schedule, she needs cuddles. The schedule can wait.